Disappearing Rainbows
Rainbows have always inspired me and put a long-lasting smile on my face. They have that effect on people of all ages. It’s such a joyous occasion when someone yells “rainbow!” and everyone rushes to see the sight. But what happens when you lose sight of yourself?
The high from running my first marathon was over, so I took a few weeks off from training and lowered the priority of running. After a lot of thought, I began training for a triathlon, adding in swim lessons and researching what it means to be a triathlete. The summer had just begun, and I was excited to enter a new job, new apartment, and be in a thriving community. I kept up my go-go-go attitude, and I viewed everything as a task that needed to be checked off the list.
Another run - check, social outing - check, project - check. I wasn’t keeping up with my internal dialogue or my feelings. During that time, my focus was on the next calendar event and the tasks that inundated my mind.
However, something this summer kept stopping me in my tracks; rainbows. In just a short 30 days’ time, I had seen four rainbows. One of which was a gorgeous double rainbow during a chilly and rainy summer day. Every time I notice a rainbow I think of my dad telling me, “It’s a rainbow day!” even in the cloudiest and stormiest of times. I think that it’s his manner of acknowledging that life is to be lived every day and a unique way to tell me to be positive.
On an easy run I took by the river recently, I saw a rainbow peeking through the clouds above the water. As I stood there in awe, ready to finish my loop, a mysterious feeling prompted me to turn around and take one last look. I slowly and bewilderingly turned around and noticed the rainbow beginning to fade. “Dang, that’s a bummer.” I thought observing the purple, blue, yellow, and red shades grow more and more faint by the passing minute.
Then a message came to me, telling me to stay put, embrace the moment, and stare at that rainbow until it completely disappeared into the sky. So I stared into the sky, unaware of anything around me but this one simple and magnificent phenomenon.
After, I started to tear up, thinking that was the first time in months I had slowed down to really just observe and take in a moment with no distractions. God must have been nudging me to stop and literally stare, but I kept brushing him off. I stayed until the rainbow evaporated into the sky and the short 10-15 minutes of silence spiritually moved me. It felt like I had taken a load off of my shoulders. I was calm and rejuvenated. I imagine God was chasing me down to take some heavy weight off my back so he could carry it himself and just needed me to stand still for a while.
I wondered in that moment if rainbows were in heaven and if my sister gets to see them all the time, or if they are a rarity up there, too. Maybe rainbows on earth are heaven’s way of getting us to slow down and just watch. As I have embraced my faith and pushed on, a common theme has been erupting in my thoughts to hold on and savor the lovely moments, even while they disappear.
As my dad says, “It’s a rainbow day.”
You are not alone.