When You’re Captured by the West, You’re Finally Free
The COVID-19 pandemic demanded I reevaluate my life. I was stuck indoors and depressed that my access to fancy bars and delicious restaurants was yanked away. I had no choice but to confront myself. Drinking excessively, dancing my nights away at concerts, and dressing up for fancy dinners were my identity. I didn’t want to let go. Deep down, I knew there was more to life, but I ignored it. Facing the truth would be uncomfortable and boy, did I love being comfortable. I accepted my unexceptional life and didn’t want to ruffle feathers.
I decided it was time to reveal my true self by removing the mask I had worn for so long. At a dead-end job with an education I wasn’t using to my full advantage, I didn’t have a monetary stake in continuing my sub par life. There weren’t an endless amount of bars to fill up my cup of relentless hangovers anymore. In the early stages of the pandemic, my life underwent a transformation. I gave up drinking, started exercising twice daily, and confronted my own personal truths. Then one lonely night, it hit me like a train, God’s voice saying, “Move. Move now. As soon as possible, start your life. Your opportunity for a fresh start is here. Leave behind the stale version of yourself. Don’t waste it.”
With a burning desire for change, I meticulously examined every part of the country and discovered that North Idaho was the perfect fit. North Idaho is a terrific base camp to travel into Washington, Montana, Oregon, and British Columbia. My love for hiking motivated me to seek a mountain town that offers all four seasons and a stunning landscape. Moving to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, in April 2021, changed my life forever. I wasn’t ready to leave my family and friends, but I didn’t give myself enough time to think about it. I was never “ready”, and had I waited, I probably would have talked myself out of moving, or let someone else do so.
I confronted every fear and anxious thought head on. Being mediocre never got me anywhere. Avoiding risks never made me feel proud. But once I came over the Veterans Memorial Centennial Bridge on my way into Coeur d’Alene, I was stunned. The vastness of Lake Coeur d’Alene took my breath away. The beauty of my surroundings made me realize I have no limits. Like the famous Mean Girls quote by the character Cady Heron, “The limit does not exist.” There are no limits to my goals, my happiness, or my success. Opportunities smelled like pine trees and fresh air. Every sunset was like a powerful painting that God’s angels drew with their pink, purple, orange, and yellow watercolors.
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Now, in my third year in Idaho, I wake up every morning, thankful to be living true to myself. I've hiked countless trails, explored national parks, had a close encounter with a grizzly, and even captained a 200-mile team relay race. Every day, trip, and exploration has been a tremendous blessing. All of my setbacks have catapulted me forward into a garden of possibilities. From my point of view, I used to wrap myself in linen layers like a mummy. My fears, insecurities, and self-limiting beliefs held me captive in each layer. But now, I am captured by something different, the West.
The West has always had a reputation for wide open spaces, expansion, and growth. Well, it captured me, and now I’m finally free.